We evaluated relationship red flags in another post. If you haven’t read it yet, be sure to read that post before this one. If you have read it, then let’s continue. Relationship green flags are just as important as the red flags. We want to give some thought to both of them. Here, you will gain some awareness about the things that are going well in your romantic relationship.
Grab your pen and notebook and get ready for some writing.
Let’s get started.
1. They are frank about their feelings- no mind games
My partner and I had known each other for a while. I liked him. But I wasn’t sure about his feelings for me.
One evening we were out with a group of my friends. We decided at the end of the night to go to a cozy cafe to talk, just the two of us. That’s when he told me about his feelings for me.
I could feel my mind and body relax on that red couch we were sitting on. I put my feet up on the chair in front of me, took his hand, lay my head back, closed my eyes, and smiled.
It was such a relief.
See that? You want that.
2. You are yourself around them
At the beginning of a relationship it is normal to want to impress your partner. You put your best behaviour forward and try not to show any flaws. That makes sense for the honeymoon phase. But if you continue this for a long time, you will be drained. Just like I was.
I consistently felt like I wasn’t good enough for my partner as he had started losing interest. So, I continued trying to impress him.
One day I thought to myself, I’m not being myself in this relationship. It’s not fun anymore. I was feeling tired- emotionally and physically. Because these two are connected.
If you are being yourself in your relationship, that’s a big green flag. If you don’t need to look, act, or be a certain way to win anyone’s good opinion of you, that is a green flag. It’s a very comfortable feeling. Savour it.
3. compromise is a part of the relationship
How do you both deal with your differences? I will be writing a post on managing your differences in a relationship-stay tuned.
But for now, I want to know if you both compromise?
You can’t find anyone who is completely like you and if you do, there’s a good chance that you won’t want to be with them. It can be boring. So, chances of having differences with your partner is very high.
It’s important to keep the balance here. You don’t want to be the one that always accommodates your partner. And the same goes with your partner. Find the balance.
4. You are proud to be with them
Is your partner presentable? Are you proud to introduce them as your partner to friends and family?
It feels really good to be with someone whom you’re not embarrassed to call your partner. Believe me! I have been in a relationship in the long past where my partner had such bad manners that I didn’t want to go anywhere with him. Never did I date like that again.
Generally, this means having a good grasp of their emotions, meaning they don’t react fast to situations around them.
Any weird outburst of anger over small situations is a red flag that we can talk about in the comments. I have experience with both of these. Let’s chat.
6. Similar values
This goes beyond having shared interests. Let me paint you a picture.
My ex-partner and I shared a strong interest in music. We are both musicians, so music is a big part of our lives. This is shared interest.
Examples of core values is family, religion, politics, etc. What are some core values you can think of?
7. Help each other grow
This is where you have a logical eye on each other, you notice and help with what your partner can do to live happier.
My ex-partner struggled with fear in his daily life. I struggled with my insecurities about my physique. We both helped each other grow out of these by letting each other know when these were getting the best of us.
It was better for our well-being. This is what friends do, and what is better than being a friend to each other in your relationship?
Do you genuinely care for your partner? This goes beyond the relationship. Will you be generally worried about their well-being even if you are not together?
It was near the end of my relationship. My partner had declared that he was uncertain about me. But still he worried about my well-being, even after the breakup. This shows that even when we were together, he did, despite what I believed, really cared about me.
9. Trust exists mutually
What is trust?
Trust is the feeling you get when you know you are safe with your partner. It’s when you believe your partner has the best intentions. That they care about you and don’t want to hurt you.
Do you feel safe in your relationship? Does your partner feel the same?
We will talk about this in a future post in greater depth- stay tuned.
Of course, politeness goes beyond swearing. It’s about manners. But let’s focus on swearing here- I have things to say.
It’s okay if they swear once in a while when they aren’t angry. What we don’t want is for them to become extremely rude when angry or for swearing to be a part of their normal conversations.
Be cautious that they may be polite to you to win your affection.
A great way to evaluate their politeness is to see if they are polite to strangers.
Of course, this isn’t an exhaustive list of all the relationship green flags. But these are some of the important ones because they are rooted in a person’s character.
Can you think of more green flags? Let’s talk about them in the comments. I’d love to hear from you.
Take your notebook and write down any green flags you can think of in your relationship on a new sheet. Once you’re done, head over to my next post on balancing the pros and cons.